I’ve been spending a good part of the day on a personal project that truly baffles me. My boyfriend and I were playing another self-invention of a game the other night. The rules are that player one has to smack their hands on the wall, and guess the name of the film player two is singing the soundtrack to, while being tickled. And under no circumstances connect his/her hands to anything but the wall, until the guess is approved. I personally put tickling in the this-hurts-like-Darth-Vader-hurts-peoples-feelings category. In this category you can also find the bumping-your-toe-into-a-tableleg pain. The thing they have in common is the high peak of annoyance level they take you to. Kind of like when I did the cinnamon challenge without knowing how it devilishly brewed an increasing dry Sahara in my mouth. I was ten, and well annoyed. The thing with tickles though, is, that seem to diffuse giggles all over your annoyance, which tricks you both mentally and physically, similar to the event of a unicorn breaching reality poking your with its giant poking device of a horn. I would giggle a bit however, I’m thinking it would be annoying too, and because of its mythical status, I would be quite confused. However, I managed to bring myself to an even more impressive state of confusion, when I then today re-gained one of my observations as a child. You cannot tickle yourself! And this is what I based my personal project on today. Even if I really scrubbed my fingers with a chinesemassa(cre)ge power against my ribs, it doesn’t do the trick. I wonder if I used someone elses hand to tickle me – but with my hand and movements, would I then be able to create the tickling sensation? I just don’t get it.
In a lifetime, we probably spend the amount of years it took us to figure out that Santa isn’t real, on – waiting. That’s like the equivalent of having to watch Kristen Stewart cook rice . What a boost of wasteful discontent to your life. What I dislike most in the waiting category though, is queuing. When I’m queuing I never get that ‘Oh is it my turn already’ voice in my head. A sloth could learn the alphabet in the time it takes to get to your wanted destination after queuing. In addition, I find that some people in queues are like eels who always wanted to be dolphins – so they swim different than the rest of the stream, which ticks off the aura of the stream, and awkwardness like this arises:
… You get the idea. So without further ado, here’s my list of annoying things people do in queues.
1) I had been stuck on third floor at uni for hours, and suddenly just had to cave in a sandwich, before I would be mistaken for the-girl-who-really-has-to-back- one- out, since having an urge for the toilet, and being extremely hungry both looks like you are about to lay eggs. So I gracefully controlled my measures of hunger and got in the sandwich queue downstairs. Suddenly the guy in front – and behind me, realized that they knew each other, and started chatting away while I’m stood there in the middle feeling awkward. I was juggling with the idea of forcefully joining their conversation or letting the guy behind me move in front of me. But I was too hungry for that to be a wise idea, and I didn’t think that he was worthy of taking my spot. I personally think the most strategic move would be for the guy in front of me to move down at talk to his friend, face to face, and not face and awkward looking face and then to another face.
2) When I treat myself to fly back home I always luxuriously take off with Ryan Air. When boarding, they have two queues; One for normal bookings and one for priority bookings. They board people from the priority queue first, and half of that queue has a normal booking, cause totally blanked out the giant fattened blue sign that says ‘Priority only”. It’s like watching a fierce Amercia’s Next Top Model elimination, when these eels are asked to leave the priority queue. Why don’t people just read the sign?
3) I’ve witnessed two old men arguing about who has to put the split-thingie down on the conveyor belt, to separate their groceries. Has there ever been a rule for who has to put it down?!
4) People queuing for rollercoasters talking about rollercoaster accidents. It promptly sizzles a fear on top of my excitement for the ride – which is not a good mix of emotions.
5) People stepping back and stomping on your feet. Dude, it’s quite obvious that there will be someone behind you. – You are in a queue? Same thing goes for people with backpacks.
Check out the giggles for annoying things people do on airlplanes please go to: